Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize