you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
