Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
