If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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