y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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