the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
