On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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