I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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