Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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