Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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