I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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