You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
