So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
