I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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