He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
