1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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