He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
