her vagine was all disorganized.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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