just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize