Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
