i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am available for nakedness
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
