You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
