Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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