i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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