go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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