my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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