i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
