I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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