Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize