he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
