Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im holly from the hills drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
