I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
