Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dicks are not precious.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
