She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
