im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
