question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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