Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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