did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She needs sedatives and a leash
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
