we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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