Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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