I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
