So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
