if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
