i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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