He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
