and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the day after is always just damage control
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
