Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
