Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
