Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
