she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
