I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
