Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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