haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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