Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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