why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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