a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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