We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
