sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize