Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
