Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do vagina's smell?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
