Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
