your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
