I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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