Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
