did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
