Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
