I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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