In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
