Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize