If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
