so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
